A Time to Reflect

2020 is a year many of us want to forget. What started as a year full of hopes, new goals and excitement, quickly turned upside down and we were left with a lot of what ifs. At the beginning of 2020 I was excited to walk across the stage at graduation, begin building a foundation for my career and planning a life with my partner. 

When the pandemic hit it wasn’t until I realized we were in this for the long haul that it started to take a mental toll. I was fortunate to be able to work full time and still be able to have some structure to my daily life, which really helped ease my anxiety during this time. I think most of us were thrown for such a loop by losing our structure, that we fell into a hole that we were unsure if we would ever get out of. 

I think what really stressed me out the most was the future. I struggled dealing with the what ifs, how I was going to be able to begin a career or a life. I applied for so many jobs that I lost count and I felt defeated. So that’s when I stopped for a second and just started living in the present, instead of living in a race to the finish line. 

Last year was a year of growth for myself. Prior to the pandemic my life was always in go mode. I would wake up at four in the morning to work at Starbucks, drive an hour for school, attend classes, drive back and go to my second job. While also trying to maintain somewhat of a social life and find time to hit the gym. 

When the pandemic hit, it made me slow down. It gave me the time to become a healthier version of myself mentally, emotionally and physically. I learned to let go of the things that I can’t control and focus on the things that I can control. This was a huge step for me. I used to tend to dwell on things that created obstacles or was something that I couldn’t control. It really plagued me mentally and stood in my way of opportunities. 

Even though I’m still living in a world full of what ifs, I find myself in a really good place mentally. I know when the timing is right, my time will come to find a job and I don’t know when that will be but for right now I’m going to enjoy being in the moment, instead of chasing after the moment.


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